You like icons. So do we, at VäporSystems. So the first thing we did was to design a whole set of icons for VäporOS just like the other guys (not to mention it makes advertisers happy, and that makes us all giddy as well,nevermind we still have no clue how to make a boot disk).


Most modern OS's use a file/folder metaphor. What's gives? Do you deal with manilla folders and pieces of notebook paper with a fold in the corner every day? We didn't think so. That's why all the useless junk you create with VäporOS is stuffed into Jars, just like in your kitchen.

This is an empty Jar. Look at it closely. Doesn't it just beg to be filled with your useless junk?


This is a Jar full of your useless junk. With other OS's, you have to open a folder to see what's inside. With VäporOS, you can tell if there's already something in there, so you don't waste too much of your valuable educated-consumer time.


Other OS's have files. Files, files, files. VäporOS uses a Pizza. A pizza stuffed into a Jar? Doesn't make sense to us either, but pizzas are a lot tastier than sheets of paper. Besides, PizzaHut© is one of our major sponsors.

This is the JellyJar©. Other OS's call it the system folder. Try this: open your system folder. What do you see? An icky, gooey mess! VäporOS is no exception. The Jelly Jar features exclusive Väpor Explöd-o-Jar® technology; as the system gets overloaded with assorted Pluggies, add-ons and other hard drive-threatening files, the Jelly Jar's icon dynamically updates to reflect its relative health. If a system crash is imminent, the jar explodes.

Trash. Recycle. Wastebin. Sheesh. Why draaaag all your old, dead stuff to a garbage can? With VäporOS, just take the VäporVacuum©, and roll it over the stuff you want to be rid of!

This is the VäporVacuum© after gorging on all that stuff your going to wish you didn't delete later...


After intensive market research (ok, a 7th grader from Cleveland and three corporate IS goons), we discovered that the single most popular function in a computer is "get info..". So we brought it right to the top. The American Dairy Association insisted we call the function The Skinny©. The spineless hacks we are, it was a no-brainer.


With all the intricacies of modern operating systems, it's a mighty task to keep all the parts working together seamlessly. To ensure that cohesion, VäporOS has the GUI Glue©. Sponsored by Elmers©, the Gui Glue© sits right in the menu bar, ready for you to squeeze away. Coat both surfaces and wait till tacky.

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