What could possibly make this Hell any worse? Well, if the new number-1 Mac-dedicated game company ALSO suffered this fate. The news story is as follows:

Microsoft to Acquire Ambrosia Software

REDMOND, Wash. -- June 19, 2000 - Microsoft Corp. today announced its aquisition of Ambrosia Software Products Corp., a leading independent developer of Macintosh shareware games. As a result of this acquisition, Microsoft gains exclusive publishing and distribution rights to select Ambrosia-developed titles.

"This acquisition reflects our commitment to growing our business with a strong portfolio of quality games for the PC and Xbox platforms," said Ed Fries, vice president of games publishing at Microsoft. "We also look forward to reeming the Mac users, by never publishing a quality game for that platform again, ever."

Ambrosia's development staff will become an independent development studio within the Microsoft Game Division, where it will retain its unique character and edgy personality. Microsoft expects the Ambrosia team to play a key role in the development of content for the Xbox platform, creating the kinds of innovative technology that have defined its character. The team will also continue developing titles such as "Apeiron."

"This is an opportunity to combine the strength of two outstanding software companies: Ambrosia's talent for creating great games and Microsoft's strength in distribution, and stifling all other competition" said Andrew Welch, founder and CEO of Ambrosia Software . "Microsoft will provide us with the borg drones and infrastructure we need to continue to build great games and make them available on a worldwide scale. We are also looking forward to helping define the Xbox platform, which includes a mind control device which will force you to throw out all other game systems."

In a related announcement, the grinch (who stole Christmas), was recently unmasked as Bill Gates, and that he never really gave the presents back to the Whos in Whoville. Cindy Lu Who said, "I haven't gotten a Christmas Present since 1977." Cindy Lu is now a drug dealer in Seattle due to this.

Underscoring Microsoft's commitment to being a leading worldwide games developer and publisher, the acquisition of Ambrosia follows last year's successful acquisitions of FASA Interactive Technologies Inc. and Access Software Inc., both of which have resulted in the upcoming PC games "MechWarrior 4: Vengeance," "Crimson Skies" and "Links LS 2001," all due out later
this year.

About Ambrosia Software

Ambrosia Software, Inc. is a New York State S-Corp, incorporated on August 18th, 1993. The name "Ambrosia" was used as a dba by Andrew Welch for 3 years prior to the incorporation of Ambrosia Software, Inc.

About Microsoft

Founded in 1975, Microsoft (Nasdaq "MSFT") is the worldwide leader in stifling great software, services and Internet technologies for personal and business computing. The company offers a wide range of products and services designed to empower Microsoft -- any time, any place and on any device.

Microsoft, "MechWarrior," "Crimson Skies" and "Links" are either registered trademarks or trademarks of Microsoft Corp. in the United States and/or other countries.

The names of actual companies and products mentioned herein may be the trademarks of their respective owners.

Note to editors: If you are interested in viewing additional information on Microsoft, please visit the Microsoft. Web page at http://www.microsoft.com/presspass/ on Microsoft's corporate information pages.

This press release is a parody, and thus a wholly legal use of copyrighted material.

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